I plan on being the parent who, when my child wants to go to Gallifrey 1 as a dalek, will throw down my newspaper in a huff and yell, “Not dressed like that you’re not!”
I absolutely loathe that moment when, after I’ve managed to get the screaming 4-year-old to calm down and accept that he’s tired, and he’s in the process of going to lay down on the couch, the idiot mother decides to say something.
I get it, you’re the biological mother, but your parenting skills are shit. The point is emphasized by the way the kid screams, every time you talk.
Over the course of the next few weeks, I’m going to be taking shots like this, of my nephew’s piece-of-shit mother, having no interaction with her kids at all. Then, at some point, I’m going to contact their current CPS caseworker and make her aware of this behavior.
This photo, just as the one posted some time last week, shows the woman on the couch where she spends most of her day, playing on her phone. However, this photo shows that she spends so much time on said couch, she actually falls asleep on it, as well.
I wouldn’t be doing this kind of thing if she were, you know, a decent parent and CPS wasn’t only investigating Mark on supposed neglect of the children. At the time this photo was taken, Mark was at work, while the kids (the nephew and the woman’s two younger daughters) were downstairs, watching television.
Question: Is there ever, really, an occasion when it’s okay to have your child lie for you?
Last night, upon returning home from work, I walked into the house to find out that my nephew’s mother had seemingly disappeared and didn’t tell anyone where she was going. Neither Mark (my brother) nor the eldest daughter knew where she had gone, but Mark suspected the second-eldest daughter had an did; however, when asked if she knew her mother’s whereabouts, she simply either ignored the question or flat-out said she didn’t know.
After some prodding from yours truly, she finally admitted that she knew where her mother was: in the daughter’s bedroom, sleeping. When asked why she hadn’t said anything when both Mark and the eldest daughter were concerned about the mother’s whereabouts, the second-eldest proceeded to tell us that she was specifically informed by the mother not to tell Mark or anyone else that she was in her bedroom.
Of course, the disappearing act occurred after Mark and the mother had something of an argument because Mark had taken the eldest to the library, and they ended up being there a lot longer than they had intended. The mother had “disappeared” shortly before they finally got home from the library.
When I was younger, I used to have to lie to my father for my mother, because my mother was afraid my father’s knowing certain things would have him call Child Protective Services on her. And even though I understand the reasoning behind her wanting us to flat-out lie to our father, which at the time was easy for us as we were not on good terms with our father anyway, I disagree with her having my brother and me get into the habit of lying; this lying (or withholding information, as it were) essentially, for all intents and purposes, ruined my relationship with her when her husband finally found out that she’d been lying to him for me, even though I didn’t ask her to.
But I digress: in your honest opinion, in as many characters as Tumblr will allow, is there ever a time when having your child lie for you is okay?
My 12-year-old niece is home from school today, and when I asked my stepbrother as to the why, his response was, “Apparently she threatened to kill herself, again.”
The thing to understand about my niece is that she is the second-oldest child, out of four children. When she was younger, her father sexually abused her; and ever since her mother took her and her siblings from that environment, she has been receiving no discipline from her mother at all. (These are not necessarily connected to each other, save from the fact that they might have something to do with the issue of which I am currently writing.)
Because of the lack of discipline, my niece and her older sister (the youngest sister was lost to a custody battle and now lives with her father; the other sibling is her 2-year-old brother) do whatever they want. This has led to such things as Child Protective Services (or CPS) being called on my stepbrother when he prohibited them from doing something because they did not earn it, being expelled from school for acts of a sexual nature, and simply not contributing to the welfare of the household.
This school year is almost at an end, and yet the niece in question has missed almost enough days to automatically qualify her to be held back for the year. She has missed school or come home early, mainly due to feigning some kind of illness. Of course, as it so happens, as soon as she gets home, she’s perfectly fine and goofing off. Thanks to the lack of discipline, she has done it in increasing amounts, and seemingly without any blatant theatrics.
And it gets worse: only recently has she been using the “suicide” angle to get out of school early.
After several hours of discussion with the girl, my stepbrother (the only one of the “parents” in the household who gives enough of a damn to spend that much time talking to the girl) has found a couple reasons why she tries to avoid school at all costs: 1) she gets picked on and 2) since she’s starting puberty, her hormones go wild when she starts her cycle.
With those reasons, it somewhat makes sense as to why she would want to avoid school; however, going so far as to threaten suicide? Unfortunately, due to the CPS cases that are currently open against him, my stepbrother feels between a rock and a hard place: when she claims to want to kill herself, does he let her be or does he cater to it, on the off-chance that she might be serious?
It’s a difficult situation because the girl is known to be an increasingly frequent liar. She’s tried to get me into situations with my stepbrother and her mother, simply because I told her to do something she didn’t want to do. (Chores or her homework, because I’m that kind of uncle.) Fortunately, because of my credibility, her stories do not hold water. And the problem is that it’s getting worse and worse; to the point where everything she says is now taken with the impression that she is automatically lying.
Given that, she is obviously a very troubled girl. But just how troubled? There’s a line between what is true and what will get her attention, but where is it?
I’m of the mind, for the next time she threatens to kill herself, to have her speak to a guidance counselor before granting her permission to leave school or any kind of responsibility that’s been put upon her. Then again, if I were a parent, these children would have had proper discipline from the off.
But since this is where we are now, what do you do to try to get a situation like this under control? What do you do to enforce that the frequent lying needs to cease, but if there is a modicum of truth (especially when self-harm is involved) to be open and honest about it? Neither my stepbrother nor I are parents, so I fear that anything we say or do will not have any bearing; especially when the primary parent, her mother, sits around and tends to her own little world.
Maybe this is just a rant that needed to be written, but if anybody has any kind of positive reinforcement or positive words of advice to give, I will gladly take them.